Rant

What's the use?

I have a rant¹ inside of me that won’t come out.² It’s really funny.³ I put everyone in their proper places⁴ and then I feel great.⁵ You feel great too⁶ because, you’ve been wanting to say the same thing⁷ and it wouldn’t come out of you either,⁸ but hell yeah!⁹ I have the solutions.¹⁰ No one else does.¹¹

“They” are dumb.¹² I am smart.¹³

There, I’ve said it.¹⁴

Problem solved.¹⁵

Now leave me the hell alone.¹⁶¹⁷

Acrylic on board by me

P.S. I am using a swan I painted recently based upon a much better photograph by the talented Mark Farley to illustrate this post. It has no real connection to the subject. I hope that doesn’t upset you.

Thanks

☮️🤬

J

1. A rant is a common method of letting off steam on social media or at home when nobody’s listening and you walk around the house yelling “Fuck!”at the top of your lungs. Children rant and it is called a tantrum. They are commonly put in their rooms until they stop screaming. (if they also scream Fuck!, it can involve corporal punishment. I got an ivory soap mouth wash for it once.) This is a training exercise and apparently it worked well on me because I find difficulty letting go of my angry feelings. Not many people rant at work or in public places because of negative consequences, like getting fired or arrested.

2. This is where I should put statistics that show how harmful it is to keep anger bottled up inside of you without a healthy way to express it. I find statistics tedious. You all know if you’ve read me before that I am slightly lazy, content with low effort. But my friend, the highly esteemed yet humble genius, M. Jean Bagaïeff, told me that Fyodor Dostoevsky once wrote:

Most of all I fear mediocrity; in my opinion, it's better to be either very good or completely terrible. Mediocrity that spans thirty printed pages is an unforgivable thing...

I’ve opted for the latter. If this rises to mediocrity, it’s much shorter than thirty pages. Besides, the statistics are out there and you know how to GOOGLE. See, I respect your abilities, even though I make statements to the contrary for comedic effect.

3. Everything I think inside of my head leans towards humorous. I am rarely serious because I have issues with hurting people’s feelings and being hurt. It is the way I cope with anger (see #1 and #2 footnotes). Overall, I believe humor makes my life better and I recommend it.

4. A person’s proper place is, naturally, a subjective measure unless you live in a place where you have a King ordained by God and you are properly born a subject. I don’t believe where I live has a king - yet. Therefore my proper place is where I am. In general my opinions carry more weight for me than yours. If you rely on other people’s opinions more than your own, you might want to re think that.

5. This is hyperbole . I rarely feel great because I am nearly 70 and age makes you kind of complainy. I do OK.

6. Speculation, pure speculation, I have no way of knowing how you feel. This is a way to suggest that my writing will make you feel good. It is subliminal messaging.

7. see #6

8. If this is true(but see #6) and your anger is getting bottled up, I do recommend walking around the house shouting Fuck! when no one else is there, of course.

9. Can I get a hell yeah?

10. Solutions? lol!

11. Truth

12. If I am not specific in defining “they” it will universally represent anyone you might think of as “they”. In this case I specifically mean YOU.

13. Lie (sort of). It’s comparative. If you don’t understand what exactly I mean by that, then it’s not a lie. But just so you know a bit about my abilities, I had to look up how to spell comparative.

14. Actually, I typed it on my keyboard.

15. Not even close, rotfl.

16. Sometimes I like people, but, yeah, my time has value.

17. Trilety Wade I know you love footnotes, NOT! I wrote this to annoy you in a friendly way and I also wrote it for the Soaring Twenties Social club Symposium, Rant